Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Do It Again!

You find a box in the attic.

The wooden staff which lies in the box is as tall as you.  Pounding the base of the staff on the ground will cause an earthquake.  The harder the staff is pounded, the greater the intensity of the earthquake.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Sic Transit Gloria Mundi

You find a box in the attic.

A framed photograph lies in this box.  It shows the Whitehouse in the United States capitol in decrepit condition, fallen into ruins, with the lawn overgrown with weeds and bushes.  A caption at the bottom of the picture is in an alphabet which you do not recognize.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Send Mulder in the DeLorean

You find a box in the attic.

This box contains the love child of Amelia Earhart and Jimmy Hoffa in suspended animation.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Worst Lawn Ornaments

Plastic statues of pink flamingoes, garden gnomes, and other tacky lawn ornaments huddle in one end of the Mansion’s front yard.  The sight of them makes you cringe.  All attempts to destroy them will fail amusingly.

Monday, April 19, 2010

The Last Textbook

You find a box in the attic.

This box contains a large book.  All of the pages in the book are blank, now, but taking the book into a classroom lecture will cause the pages to contain the text from whatever textbook is required for the course at the moment.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Petaled Audience

A podium stands before the flower garden of the Mansion.  The flower bushes stand in concentric semi-circles around the raised platform.  The flowers will droop and wilt if someone does not speak to them for at least twenty minutes each day.  If someone were to speak to them for more than half an hour each day, then the flowers will eventually talk back.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Alternate Present

You find a box in the attic.

This box contains a dust-covered photo album.  The pictures within this album are action shots of you doing everyday things with people you have never met.  In these pictures, you look the same as you do, now, and are wearing the same clothes as you are now.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

For the Battle of the Sexes

You find a box in the attic.

What’s in the box looks like a radar gun.  It takes ordinary batteries.  If the gun is turned on and the trigger is pressed, then those in the line of fire will experience all of the secondary symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (cramps, headache, irritability, et cetera).

This device only works when used on men.  Keep out of reach of women.

Monday, April 05, 2010


You find a box in the attic.

Ready-for-retail-sale bottles are stacked in this box.  They are labeled “Purity Pills”.  A stack of papers lies atop the bottles.  The papers give the chemical formula for the pills, directions for synthesis, and explain that any man who swallows a pill will have perfect rational control over his libido.

A note on top of the stack reads: “If this gets out, we’re ruined.  — H. H.”

Friday, April 02, 2010

Heeeeeere’s Johnny!

You find a box in the attic.
This box contains a manual typewriter.  Anyone who tries to use this typewriter will only be able to type “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”