Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Thank You for Taking Your Medication

You find a box in the attic.

This box contains prescription bottles labeled Happy Pills™ (Other-Directed). The instructions state that one should take a pill every eight hours and no more than three pills in a twenty-four hour period.

Swallowing one of the large tablets has no discernible effect on the user. However, those who make eye contact with that person will experience bliss and contentment for as long as eye contact is maintained or until eight hours after the last pill was swallowed, whichever comes first.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Hat Trick

You find a box in the attic.

In this box is a white rabbit. On one side of the box is a hole which is not visible from outside the box. As you look on, a black-sleeved arm pokes out of the hole, grabs the rabbit, and pulls the rabbit through the hole. You hear the sound of applause.

Friday, December 25, 2009

A Pack of Your Clones

This large room has many cushioned chairs against the walls and clustered in circles. If you stay here for any length of time, another person — who looks exactly like you and who claims to be you — will enter the room. You will both have the same reaction at seeing each other, and will talk to each other, trying to make sense of things.

A little later, another clone will enter the room and join the conversation. More clones will enter until the room is full of chatting duplicates having a pleasant get-together with different conversations going on in different groups. Someone will find some food and drinks (including some good stiff liquor) and there will be a some music from a stereo (no question as to what kind of music to play).

If you leave the room — even momentarily — and enter the room, again, it will be empty. If you remain after the room is empty, another duplicate (who will have no memory of the previous party) will enter the room and the process will start again.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Apiary Requires a Security Clearance

You find a box in the attic.

In this box is a hive of honeybees. Both hive and bees are normal for domesticated honeybees except that the substance in the combs is high-yield plastic explosive.

Monday, December 21, 2009

A Show at the Gazebo

There is a sculpted garden in back of the mansion. A cobblestone path winds through manicured knolls and terraces of flower bushes. It passes between trees whose arching branches form a roof betwixt ground and clouds. The path leads to a gazebo in front of which is a large field. Topiaries, bushes cut into the shapes of people and animals, are scattered throughout the field.

A wood-paneled box sits atop a metal stand next to the bench in the gazebo. The box has a sliding lever with several unmarked settings. If the lever is set to one of the settings, then the topiaries will perform a skit lasting from five to twenty-minutes. The skits are humorous and entertaining.

Friday, December 18, 2009

The Mosaic Room

Mosaics deck the walls, ceiling, and floor of this room. The mosaics depict saints and events from Holy Writ. As you look on, the tiles in the mosaics flip and rearrange themselves into different images. These new images also depict saints and events from Holy Writ. You will not see an image repeated while you are in this room.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Shyness Room

This is a little room. In this room is a little girl.  In the girl is a little heart. If you try to look at her heart, the girl will become shy and her shyness will darken your eyes and slow your steps.  If you continue to look, your heart will become a visible thing within your breast.  Its pulses will glow through your flesh and reveal your secrets to anyone who looks closely. You will curl up to hide the treasure, and the girl will leave you alone in the room with your exposed heart.

Eventually, someone else will walk into the room and piercing eyes will try to plunder the pulses coming from your chest.

Monday, December 14, 2009


You find a box in the attic.

In this box are aerosol cans labeled “Bugspray”.  At the bottom of the can, nestled in the concave niche, is a dial.  The dial has labels for gnat (the dot on the dial is here), dust mite, fruit fly, housefly, black widow, radioactive tarantula, AIDS-III-carrying mosquito, and giant man-eating cockroach.

Pressing down the nozzle releases an angry cloud of gnats, as indicated on the dial.  A warning label on the can states that the can should not be exposed to open flames.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Lost & Found

In this room is a seven-year-old boy. He is crying softly in the corner. As you enter the room, he looks at you, stands up, and runs to you. He embraces you and says how glad he is that you found him. He will refer to himself as your son.

If you keep him for long enough, you will believe him. If you keep him even longer, your family and friends will believe him, too. Eventually, records such as school transcripts and birth certificate and others will confirm this state of affairs even though you will continue to have no memory of how he was born.

This mass delusion can only be reversed by putting the boy back in the room in which you found him.